I have exposed myself for my art, on more than one occasion. I think the most intimate exposing was taking a photocopy of my vagina and using it in the installation at the National Art Gallery of the Bahamas. It amused me that the pornography was censored by the gallery, but the photocopy was not. I think not many people realised what the picture was!
Of course Crimson Room, was all nude and the photographs were unflinching. (when I figure out how to water mark those pics, I will post them) Re showing those pictures for Paradox, was a challenge.
Contrary to popular belief, I do NOT LIKE to show myself naked. I have to have a purpose a reason based in integrity, and then it becomes a challenge with myself to not succumb to self hatred and have the inner critic rule by deeming my body not ‘good enough’. Everytime I have exposed myself for my art, the purpose was important enough to overcome, my vicious inner critic. The idea was too big to be stopped by my small self image.
Today is the second time I have been asked to pose nude for anothers artistic endeavours.
I am challenged remembering how exposed and vulnerable one feels but then relieved by the idea that I have the potential to overcome my fears and then see the evidence of bravery.
For the portraits Im doing I would like to see if anyone is willing to pose nude. It would be so fascinating to see the different expressions of the body. Confidence, vulenrability, fear, pride, innocence? I think it could offer another layer.
The body naked is meant to be, or at least nowadays seems to be expected to be, the icon of sexuality. But i think it rarely is. Again, sexuality, sensuality, seem to me something of the essence, and not of the physical. a naked body is flesh, but a sexy body is animated by something else. Exuding something else.
I think that is why nudes in art are such a challenge. They do not, at least one hopes that they dont, conform to the expected titillation. An artist can use this expectation to expose something deeper, something more truthful. Somethign more meaning ful about the realtionship between the physical and the ‘self’ – whatever one believes that self to be- personality or soul.
I love Freuds nudes. THey are so raw, he treats them like flesh – nothing more. Looking at them I feel like I am looking death in the face- looking at my own morality, my limited physical existence.
I believe that Eddy is not interested in taking a photo of me nude to expose some truth about the nature of reality. I believe he is interested in taking beautiful blk and white shots. I am not ‘young’ I dont want to be a model, have no need to be seen in that way. I am more of a voyeur than exhibitionist, so why would i once again, take my clothes off, but this time without the integrity of my artistic endeavour??? Well truthfully the only reason I would, would be to support someone else in their artistic endeavours. And to challenge myself to not be so critical of this poor body that I happened to be born with.